Memoirs of the Honninbou
by Invitan
Summary: Kuwabara Honninbou wakes up and decides that he ought to leave behind a memoir.


**TITLE:** Memoirs of the Honninbou  
**CHARACTER:** Kuwabara  
**WARNINGS:** Possible character OOC, since I'm not so confident about my grasp of the character. Also, OC warning.  
**SUMMARY:** Kuwabara Honninbou wakes up and decides that he ought to leave behind a memoir.

Written for harumi, fifthmus round 5.

Kuwabara Honninbou wakes up and decides that he ought to leave behind a memoir. Sakamaki-san*, with his silly usual self, inquires the reason. The Honninbou is no longer youthful; shouldn't he just relax and enjoy his coming retirement?

Sakamaki-san should not question the transcendent motive of The Honninbou, he answers, squinting his left eye (it isn't blind, wouldn't have squinted otherwise, but he doesn't need to say), just hurry up and find him a decent writer or reporter (and better be female, though he doesn't need to add). Sakamaki raises his eyebrows, oh really, and suddenly has some vague idea that involves some geisha movie** premiere yesterday, despite his suspicion on the possibility of cinematography being the old geezer's hobby. He stares at the Honninbou again, is this anyhow brought about by some American movie?

No, Kuwabara squints his other eye (it isn't blind, yet), surely not. How could his inspiration come from something as mundane as geisha (he doesn't deny that Zhang Ziyi**** looks good in a kimono though), and by the way, he heard there's this female Go player with a master degree in literature, could Sakamaki-san be so kind as to contact her for him? Takahashi Reiko - 2 dan, 25 years old, born in Toshima, Tokyo, became a Go pro 2 years ago, 165 cm, 49 kg, 83-61-90. Here is her address and contact number, should he ever need, the older man carefully draws a piece of paper.

Sakamaki almost spazzes out. And when he regains control, he says very, very cautiously, why on earth doesn't the Honninbou just offer her himself, having apparently investigated everything.

Kuwabara stands straight. Obviously, 'never bend your spine' was the last words of the Honninbou's dead father and also his measure of dignity. Every word rings true; his back remains intact even after the two World Wars while youngsters whine about their chronic lumbago, he throws a subtle glance at Sakamaki-san's behind.

The middle-age man flusters.

And what does it have anything to do with this?

Now now, who is the Honninbou here, he grins.

~*~

It's a pleasure to meet Kuwabara-sensei, bows Takahashi Reiko, please guide her. Traditional style - not bad at all, he cackles madly, but really, she need not bend her spine, according to his old man's last words, unless she is willing to suffer from chronic lumbago (and her chest would be unexposed, though he chooses not to tell her). Such wise knowledge, she exclaims enthusiastically, why does she have such great honor to deliver the Honninbou's legacy to the public? Why is she 'the chosen one'?

Since 'figure' should not be valued as a proper reason, Kuwabara feels the need to keep the explanation a mystery. Instead, he pronounces the following words with wings, let's begin now, will they?

She nods; her perfectly round breasts rises and falls. Waves of inspiration instantly strike him as her peach lips move into words. So why don't they start with his childhood first? Now now, he shakes his head steadily, let's not get into such trivial details. Perhaps she would want to take note of his Go history first. She gives him a skeptical look, but nods anyway. Like hell he's going to admit that he has forgotten the first half of his life. He beams, impressing her with his fourteen remaining teeth; and she has another suspicion that he just wants her to believe that he has existed for eternity, which is probably very close to the truth.

So, is it true that he has witnessed the establishment of the Nihon Ki-in?

The one and only, he meets her unconvinced eyes, alive Go pro, that is.

He should tell more in a memoir, says the writer, otherwise all could only be conveyed in a short biography, a one-page article. Such a waste of his longevity.

Ah, longevity. Wouldn't she agree that it's the wonder of his life? He puts out a white packet, drawing out a cigarette. Would Takahashi-san like one? No, thanks, she doesn't smoke. What a pity, he flashes the lighter. This is La Habana, his general's favorite.

General?

She repeats.

Yes, and whoever son-of-a-bitch says smoking is bad for health is a son-of-a-bitch, he continues.

But general?

Kuwabara-sensei, please forgive her for this question of pure inquisitive nature, but did he use to serve in the… , she struggles to find the word, …Army?

Everyone did, young lady. Wars and battles. Literary and figurative. World War 2 is just another battle, a more epic form of war, with a slightly more dreadful consequence, Hiroshima and Nagasaki, he exhales. You, young girl, also has to combat in your daily life, though of a cruder and more instinctive nature.

Go, isn't it? Could it be that your Go reflects the reminiscence of years of physical combat, the period of self establishment? She exclaims, panting as if she just discovers a new continent. Now isn't it a fascinating motivation to play Go, sensei?

The Honninbou inhales. Actually he means to imply a more primitive form of battle. Love. And physical contact, the desire of flesh. He gazes upon her flushed cheeks, secretly admiring the fine curves that undulate smoothly in surprise. And no, his Go is nothing of the sort. That old, rusty war never really means anything to him.

Sensei is joking.

She mutters, barely.

Perhaps. He cackles with laughter, after all, he would have made it into the Kamikaze, but for his general's insistence that his Go would serve well for the country in times of peace. Ah, a great man with grand vision. Tripped over a banana skin and died as a hero.

And what is the name of the, uh, hero, she swallows, Kuwabara-sensei?

The Honninbou slaps his forehead.

Masaharu, Kuwabara Masaharu, his brother.

She pales. A great man indeed.

With a great taste for women, he adds. Dear Masaharu-kun has introduced to him his first love (seriously, Go doesn't count).

Her mood lightens up again, love, now that's always an appealing subject. His love life must be pretty dramatic, considering his opinions about love and war. He gives her the infamous toothy beam, and confirms that she is right this time, and that his romance is as dramatic as any romance can be dramatic, and that she would never know who that is.

Who is that, she goes along with the script.

He slaps his forehead again.

Kojima Akiko****, he believes that's her name. Or used to be.

She covers her mouth. 1959 Miss Universe?

No, not some old bitch with breast surgery. He prefers natural beauty. No. If his memory doesn't deceive him, she is now living under the name of Touya Akiko. That must be it. His disciple's , Touya Kouyo's, wife.

Her breath goes very still.

He exhales a thick thick ring of smoke, watching her very, very blank face.

Didn't Touya-Meijin study under Okura -sensei?

Finally she murmurs.

He shifts his gaze to the ceiling, she'll see when she reaches his age. Every pro today is his disciple, one way or another.

She gives him another blank look.

After all, Confucius once said, "Among three, one is the teacher," he concludes.

Apparently, she nods in comprehension, eventually.

So what are they talking about again? He snorts. Please excuse him for his short-term memories. She knows. Old geezer. Alzheimer.

Go. She replies, almost mechanically. They are definitely discussing his Go. The game. The passion. The rivals.

The rivals. Ah. Those who face each other across the Goban. Kuwabara pauses. And has she ever heard of destined rivalry? People who walk on the same path and look at the same goal, side by side, pushing each other forwards, towards the Hand of God?

The Hand of God?

What are they called again? Eternal rivals, isn't it?

Does sensei mean Touya-junior-sensei and Shindou-sensei, her eyes sparkles as her pitch hits some high notes. He must be implying that article by Kosemura-san then. Kuwabara squints his eyes as the female pro vivaciously rummages through her bag and pulls out the rumpled paper dated 2 years ago with highlighted title, "**ETERNAL RIVALS TO LEAD THE NEW WAVES**"; underneath is a photo depicting Shindou Hikaru and Touya Akira together, apparently secretly taken. Aren't they adorable? Her eyes glitter as her polished nail traces across Shindou 5-dan yelling face, and suddenly she wonders if Kuwabara Honninbou considers anyone such a rival.

He instantly seems normal again ('normal', as in stop-gaping-at-Touya-Akira-who-was-obviously-ready-to-_throw_-you-know-what, and start another cigarette) and responds that no, not really, it's always a mystery that most of his worthy manage to return to God even before he could get to challenge them.

Such longevity, again, is admirable, she says.

Ogata might do had he been born fifty years earlier.

The Kuwabara-Ogata competition has always been the navel of the Go world, she comments.

And someone needs to show Shindou and Touya the more proper way of expressing rivalry (his personal suggestions involve either _intelligent_ remarks, or simply _she-knows-what_ in case they have some physical desperation).

She couldn't agree more (despite her puzzlement of the second option).

Tension can be relieved through various ways, doesn't she think so? Go and sex are the same, after all.

The female pro looks as though she is ready to faint, while Kuwabara lays his last cigarette in the ashtray.

That's an… interesting perspective, she speaks, at last, and then totally hushes.

~*~

Sakamaki gawks at the hard-cover A4-size book that Kuwabara Honninbou places in his laps at the press conference to introduce his lifetime's legacy. The title runs, "**MEMOIRS OF THE HONNINBOU: THE WORLD IN A BOARD GAME – the most complete compilation of Go games of the longest-running title-holder in the history of Go – collected and commented by Kosemura**".

And what about Takahashi - 2 dan?

Nervous breakdown, the Honninbou shrugs, apparently, she bends her spine too much.

_~ End._

* Sakamaki: One of the many minor characters in the series, you know, the guy who was strolling down the corridor of the Nihon Ki-in together with Kuwabara, and then scolded Hikaru when the boy rushed in to see Akira.

** _Memoirs of a geisha_, in case you haven't heard.

*** Zhang Ziyi: A Chinese actor in the movie.

**** Kojima Akiko: Miss Universe 1959, the first Miss Universe to originate from Asia.


End file.
